Recently, I’ve been on a TED Talk kick. It’s impossible not to find ten minutes in your day to watch something inspiring and good for the soul. This week I had the pleasure of stumbling upon Luvvie Ajayi, author of I’m Judging You: The Do Better Manual. As a self-proclaimed professional troublemaker, Luvvie found her stride as a writer and activist, advocating for what she believes is right.
Basically, I love her.
Her humor and genuine enthusiasm are engaging, dynamic and amazing. Her recent TED talk at TEDWomen2017 speaks to my soul and I encourage you to find ten minutes today to watch and soak in her passion.
Her speech made me consider the times I have remained silent in order to maintain my own comfort. As children, we are often unhindered by our own insecurities and anxiety, freely talking, advocating, and enjoying life.
The older we get, the more we choose to remain silent in the face of adversities, prejudice, and injustice because we are so afraid of being uncomfortable.
Luvvie makes the profound point that our silence serves no one. Not even ourselves. Remaining silent in times when we inherently know in our hearts we have to speak up only serves to keep injustice alive.
This theme hits home for me recently, as I have struggled to find happiness in a job and in my current place in life. Being uncomfortable is NOT where I like to be. In fact, I hate it. When I’m uncomfortable, I try and find the fastest way to get out of that feeling. I’ve taken jobs that clearly weren’t right for me, bought things before I thought it through, made commitments I didn’t really want to do and maintained friendships because the alternative would be too uncomfy.
But all of those mistakes have taught me the simple fact that being uncomfortable teaches us lessons. If we move quickly to get out of that emotional space, we make choices not based on the right next move but based on the simple fact that we strive so hard to avoid conflict. Conflict leads to change, and sometimes that change is good and necessary.
Next time you find yourself making a choice because your current situation scares you, makes you uncomfortable, or you just want out, remind yourself to trust the process and start being ok with being uncomfortable.